Ask Lemmy Edgarallenpwn • 1 week ago • 94%

I will be turning 30th in the next two months. Not really upset or scared about aging, but Im starting to feel down on myself when my wife, mom and dad ask about what I want for a party. My wife turned 30 a few months ago and we rented a community center room for a few hours, fed everyone there dinner, hung out and then went out for drinks. That was pretty fine, but I'm dreading my own party. I've lost contact with most of my friends over the last few years, but I try to not let it bother me. I'll check in with 2 buddies once or twice a year to make sure they are ok and that's pretty much it. I am starting to feel like a loser for not having any friends though. I understand people don't have as much time for friends as they get older, but after my 21st sucked, I tried to set a goal of making my 30th better with people I want to be around. Flash forward 9 years and I have no one to invite besides my immediate family and in laws I'm trying not to say "truthfully I don't care" as I wouldn't make this post if it was true, but I'm leaning that way. Both of my parents just did their 50th and was a huge party both times. My wife had a bunch of people at hers. I am feeling like a loser having no one to ask, and like I'm going to poach my wife's friend group if I want to fill the roster. It's such a weird feeling. I already feel exhausted keeping up with the small group of people I do talk too, but also feel like I failed because of some arbitrary rules/goal I set for myself 9 years ago. I am more than happy with my current life and this really never bothers me besides "landmark" life events. Last time I felt like this was planning my bachelor party when I realized I had no one to do anything with, but just took a weekend trip by myself to walk around a state park for a day or two. Sorry for the rambling, I just feel off/weird about this whole thing. I don't really ever feel the need for more friends, but when I have to do milestone events, I realize I'm really lacking in that area. Anyone else in the same boat or was like this before?

Music Edgarallenpwn • 1 month ago • 97%

Just finished up signing all the papers for my grandpa's will this weekend and this popped into my head. Grandpa is leaving me everything because he knows I'm a decent enough human to take care of my untrustworthy mom, and I can't stop listening to this now. Sorry for the feels dump, just crazy how different this song sounded to me 20 years ago, and the responsibilities I'm getting now that I didn't think I would have to worry about for awhile. TMBG are truly incredible artist that grow with you

RetroGaming Edgarallenpwn • 4 months ago • 93%

I just got a RG353v and a friend at work has a modded switch. We were planning on playing games at lunch and I am looking for recommendations. We are both fans of 4-5th gen and will probably play those the most. Any genre of game is fine, co op or competitive is fine too. So far we have windjammers as a go to but I want to dig deeper and get weird with it.

St. Louis, MO | Gateway to the West Edgarallenpwn • 5 months ago • 83%

I am currently in need of a lot of dental work. I have insurance but it is not the best, and I am looking for places that have affordable care. So far I found SLU, SIUE and STL Dental Center from AT Still. I have a huge phobia of the dentist and was without insurance for awhile, but now that I started my new job I am looking for something affordable. Currently I know I will have to have 3/4 of my wisdom teeth removed from the last time I went 3 years ago, and am scared for my upper molars (both have been fractured to the inner half of the tooth, an one is starting to cause pain). I have been putting it off due to lack of insurance, money and trauma related to dentistry/insurance as a child. I am trying to fix everything I have been ignoring the last decade of my life after getting insurance and back on my meds, but dentistry is one thing I'm horrified of due to the debt I know I will be in plus dumb stuff I started working through in therapy. Does anyone have experience with the STL Dental Center, or one of the other dental schools?

Trees Edgarallenpwn • 8 months ago • 91%

I have a pax3 that is starting to show it's age. The battery is not holding it's charge that well and I'm sure the tech has improved a lot over the years. I was looking at a crafty or mighty+ but wanted to see if there was something else comparable for a little cheaper. I would like to keep it under 300, but can spend some more if it's worth it.

Selfhosted Edgarallenpwn • 9 months ago • 98%

I am currently running most of my stuff from an unraid box using spare parts I have. It seems like I am hitting my limit on it and just want to turn it into a NAS. Micro PCs/USFF are what I am planning on moving stuff to (probably a cluster of 2 for now but might expand later.). Just a few quick questions: 1. Running arr services on a proxmox cluster to download to a device on the same network. I don't think there would be any problems but wanted to see what changes need to be done. 2. Which micro PCs are you running? I am leaving towards HP prodesk or Lenovo 7xx/9xx series around 200 each. I don't really plan on getting more than 2-3 and don't run too many things, but would want enough overhead if I switch stuff over to home assistant and windows and Linux VMs if needed. 3. Any best practices you recommend when starting a Proxmox cluster? I've learned over time it's best to set it up correctly than try to fix stuff when it's running. I wish I could coach myself from 7 years ago now. Would of saved a lot of headaches lol.

askchapo Edgarallenpwn • 9 months ago • 100%

So my dad got me The Daily Stoic for Christmas this year. We have had a shit relationship for a long time and he recently got into therapy (which is good). I just feel like this thing is mindfulness for bros. Most of that is probably me knowing of modern stoicism (or grifters making a buck saying they're stoic) seeming to be red pill or day trader bros. I've made it to day 4 and I can't stand it anymore. This is the most basic 3Cs of recovery stufd and basic mindfulness. Also I might have looked to Google to justify my options that it's just a toxic male / bro coping mechanism, but this seems like a fucking grift for shitty people who are trying to be better but still aren't down/get it. I already learned all of this [Jinkx Monsoon](https://youtu.be/_EPCPAx7h6k?si=6sPQF0MY7SLYOngK) P.S. I haven't come out to that side of the family yet as genderqueer and my dad and grandpa kept making jokes that pissed me off. Possibly some misplaced anger

Asklemmy Edgarallenpwn • 9 months ago • 95%

I have a Shield pro 2017 that is running really slow with a bunch of issues. The 9.0 update (ads on home screen one) killed performance and now it's slowly been getting worse. I was thinking of just reformatting but have been looking into debloat it as well ( https://florisse.nl/shield/). Anyone have any other tweaks they've done on these? I just use it as a client for Plex and YouTube mainly.

Old School Runescape Edgarallenpwn • 9 months ago • 100%

Hi everybody! Just trying to kick off some communication and get this community going. So what have you been working on/grinding in game recently? I am coming back from a pretty long break. Played a ton from 2016-21 with a few months here and there since. I got 99 cooking waiting out my 2 weeks at my last jobs and trying to just skill now, working to some afk money methods. Been grinding rune dragons for some GP while I watch stuff before bed and have been WC and mining at work trying to get to redwoods and amethyst. I am hoping to get my QPC back soon then tackle raids again.

Asklemmy Edgarallenpwn • 12 months ago • 95%

I just had two people take my order in a drive thru. They alternated every question. First person welcomed me and asked what I wanted. The next person asked what size and drink I wanted. The first person came back on and asked if I wanted any cheese sauce then the second person came back on and told me the price. When I got up to the window the 2nd person was the one working the register. This happens from time to time at different places when I get lunch but I can't figure out why it is done.

Comics Edgarallenpwn • 12 months ago • 100%

I am wanting to start to get back into physical comics but I'm not really interested in single issues if it's been collected. I know the printing process is expensive but fuck I cant really pay $100+ for a new Doom Patrol omnibus. My LCS doesn't carry used collected books and eBay sellers are hit or miss when it comes to pricing. Is there any sellers/sites you go to for collected books? I've used instocktrades a few times and haven't had any issues, but I want more options. Also if anyone knows of a book resell store that carries comics in STL let me know. I used to work for a book warehouse here were I could snag stuff for pennies, but it seems like they got bought out and aren't carrying comics anymore.

askchapo Edgarallenpwn • 12 months ago • 100%

Yo, looking for some more comics or TPBs similar to Tom King's Mister Miracle. For those not familiar, it's basically a story of dealing with and moving on from your past abuse while getting pulled back into the dysfunction you are trying to leave. Really good read even if you aren't a graphic novel fan. Sorry if this isn't normal askchapo stuff, but I feel like people here would know what I'm looking for. I gave my wife a list for my birthday coming up soon with the Animal Man omnibus and We3 on it, and I would like to prolong the sadness of reading We3 as long as possible. Note: already read heroes in crisis but that's the type of thing I'm looking for

askchapo Edgarallenpwn • 1 year ago • 100%

Hello there everyone. A bit of context: I've kinda known I've been genderqueer for the majority of my life. My wife and I just got married a little over a year ago after being together for 10 years (aww high school sweethearts). I've really only told her about my sexuality and gender stuff as shes been the only person I've ever been able to be myself around. She was a little weird when I told her I was bi a few years ago (consider myself pan now) but was fine with it and said she was as well. After that I started opening up about gender and that's when everything got weird and we would stop talking about it besides a few times here and there throughout the years. Over the weekend she brought it back up saying I could use they/them if I wanted, but she thinks "we need more guys like you" in the world. I guess if I change my pronouns and don't identify as my agab I'll be wasting the potential as a guy who stands for humane rights. Shit just fucking sucks. I feel like part of it is being an interracial couple in the Midwest and she sees it as just another struggle we have to go through. She's talked about that and I get it but it doesn't make me feel better. Sorry for venting, but it's just so frustrating. Like is this normal for couples who go through this situation? I'm just really pissed hearing my wife say "I understand, but most guys sucks so you should be the example" when I don't feel like a guy.

St. Louis, MO | Gateway to the West Edgarallenpwn • 1 year ago • 100%

Hey, looking to get my nose pierced sometime in the next few weeks and I am pretty lost. Never had any tattoos or piercings but I want it done correctly. Is there any shops I should go to OR any shops I should avoid? It seems like it is a pretty simple process but I'm a body mod virgin and want to make sure it's done right.