That’s because of all the Queen music in the soundtrack. Big mistake.

Then we’ll go back to blaming it on the drugs and the rock and roll music.

No, I’m not.

“America is not a racist country.”

--Nikki Haley at the Republican National Convention

Has anyone seen my lost shaker of salt?

Fuck this timeline.

Absolutely insane that anyone was buying this garbage at any price.

That bribery money wasn't going to launder itself.

Sounds over-priced.

Demagogues gonna demagogue.

Hello fellow human, I too have been abducted by a Roomba.

Oh please let Steward Health Care find out about this.

I thought they already brought Starliner back a few days ago?

Surely this leopard won't eat my face.

I can hear Musk's little heart going "pitter-patter, pitter-patter" all the way from here on the east coast.

At this point, I think they are actively trying to drive us away.

No no no, Mexico is sending us their rapists, we're not sending them our rapists.

Singular? Doubtful.

My wife's going to be pissed when she gets that call...

"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

Youssef said he might return to the platform if his safety concerns for his loved ones are resolved

Drama queen.

Is there a GoFundMe where I can donate for buying their tickets?

I think not

Can confirm.

angry toddler balls his fists and stomps his feet

Those are required features for interstate commuters.

Source: I used to have to commute on the interstate with them.

What have I done?

wails uncontrollably

My post was supposed to be a dystopian warning, NOT AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, YOU MONSTER!

HAY GUYS LOOK AT HOW CUSTOMERS LOVE HP AFTER THEIR SWITCH TO SUBSCRIPTION PRINTERS. WE SHOULD DO THAT TOO!

--Overheard from the Logitech C-Suite, probably

Great. After that, can we teach the adults, too?

It’s not possible to overrate Queen, scales don’t go high enough.

Massive advertising company adds new ways to convince you to buy bullshit you don't need. News at 11.

This method also yields plates that you can use to play Decapitation Frisbee (tm).

Tim Walz calls Viktor Orbán a dictator. For JD Vance, he’s a role model.

Correct. These are not mutually exclusive things.

Having also watched some classic sci-fi movies, I hope no one installed the ChatGPT module in the ISS computer system.

But they are totally not stranded.

J. D. VancePeter Thiel Wants to Gut Biden’s Consumer Protections

Fixed.

Quick, how can we convince Musk to relocate Tesla HQ to Vietnam?

Hey Chrome, you remember when Internet Explorer had a lock on the installed user base? Do you remember when they shit all over their users to the point they were screaming for anything to replace it?

Pepperidge Farms remembers.

If the world didn't have so many J.D. Vances in it, I would reconsider having children.

I saw one in West Virginia when I was back visiting my mother several years ago. My head almost spun 360 degrees, Exorcist style.

What’s treasons, precious?