Lol that's really funny...I actually hate yoga too, but it doesn't provoke rage, just annoyance because the last thing I wanna do is listen to some white lady done on about chakras! But for it to provoke anger in inmates is disturbing.

Is there a known material* that lightsabers don't cut? Serious question.

*Beyond that time Kylo Emo Ren had a hissy and attacked a console, that thing should've been way more damaged.

I'll do Eat A Bagel, I'm really good at that one!

A nice egg bagel with cream cheese, nova lox, thin-sliced red onion, tomato, and salt & pepper 🖤

Foot panties!! This is now canon, someone call Merriam-Webster!

Nah, gotta go with soks - can't have that redundant k in there!

Ha, I've never heard hunt and peck called "chicken typing" before, I kinda like it!

I learned to type in junior high on a Wang (with the black and spinach-green screen), and our typing teacher would tape a piece of paper to the top of the keyboard. Our fingers went under the paper so that we couldn't see what keys we were touching. It made you learn quickly to find your home row keys, and after that learning to type was pretty fun and painless.

Do kids not get a typing class anymore?

ETA: before my typing class I 'taught' myself on a Selectric at my mom's office - man did I have to unlearn some bad habits!

Oh man I tried meditation with Headspace too and I couldn't hack it. For some reason meditation made me so angry! Like this weird rage would come out of nowhere.

I did find it frustrating that the narrator would give a prompt for what to do, then just enough quiet time to begin, and then interrupt my effort with his talking. Aggravating! But the anger was a separate thing.

I always thought meditation was supposed to help you feel calm and grounded but all it did was frustrate me. :(

Helen is wearing socks with sandals. Helen don't give a single phuck.

Same here. I'm in my early forties and retired. Small house, no kids, and we don't carry debt beyond our mortgage, which will be paid off in 3 months. Not a fancy or flashy lifestyle by any means. It's possible, it just takes sacrifice and living well below your means during your earning years.

Congrats! I bet it was beautiful

I don't know, I got a couch at Ethan Allen that is still in really good shape despite frequent use.

Remodeling my bathroom, getting my hip fixed so I can go back to not skipping leg day, and possibly a trip to the Tetons.

We're pretty distant. I'm older but only by 17 months. I love my sister and wish her well but I don't trust her enough to be close with her. Our mother really did a number on us and I have to be very careful what I tell her, because I don't have any faith she won't share it with our mom. And it's a shame because if we could talk honestly I think we'd have a lot to commiserate on. As it stands we trade texts very occasionally, mostly focused on nostalgia for some TV show or game we played as kids. Never anything more personal than that. It's usually months between texts.

Her dog died and I wanted to send a sympathy text, but my mother asked me not to because she wasn't supposed to tell anyone the dog died... well then why on earth did you tell me?!?!

We are two women in our forties still goosestepping around a difficult mom who I strongly suspect is borderline, and because of the way she treated us growing up, our sibling relationship basically became collateral damage.

This is why sometimes dog lick my nose.

I tell her to keep her licker in her licker cabinet but she no listen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ILNP has a crème one-coater black called Ink. For me, the formulas in that collection can last up to 9 days with the right prep.

Prep really is essential. You could ask your wife to share her method, or alternatively, here's my routine:

• Using a strengthening remover, remove any nail polish already on your nails.
• Generously apply cuticle oil to your cuticles; make sure you really rub it in.
• Use a glass nail file to shape your nails and a glass cuticle stick to gently push back your cuticles. Germanikure makes really great products.
• Using 100% acetone and a q-tip or cotton ball, clean your nail bed. Avoid getting the acetone on your skin.
• If your nails are weak, consider using a nail strengthening treatment. If my nails become weak or start to peel, I use Rejuvacote 2. But if your nails are in good shape, you can skip this step.
• Apply one layer of base coat. I like Orly Bonder.
• Once your base coat is dry, apply your nail color. One-coater polishes can be applied in a single layer, neither thin nor thick. Other polishes should be applied in thin layers, waiting for each layer to dry before applying the next layer. Cap the end of each nail (i.e., be sure to paint the free edge of your nail, not just the top).
• Use acetone and an angled brush to immediately clean up any places where you paint "outside the lines".
• Apply a thick layer of top coat, again being sure to cap the nail. You'll want a quick-dry topcoat because otherwise you'll be waiting forever for it to dry and will probably still wake up with sheet imprints on your nails. I've been struggling to find a top coat I really love. Seche Vive is doing pretty well for me but the bottle is new, so we'll see if it gets gloopy halfway through. Make sure you get Seche Vive, not Seche Vite. Seche Vite dries super quick and has a nice finish, but it causes nail polish shrinkage which is annoying.
• After your polish has fully set and dried, apply cuticle oil again. I personally apply it after washing my hands every time, especially now that it's getting colder outside.

Lastly: no standard polish or top coat will save your nails if you're rough on them, so consider using gloves to wash dishes, don't open cans with your fingernails, etc. Another option is gel polish, which is practically indestructible, but most casual nail polish wearers don't apply or remove it themselves, they go to a salon. But it'll last you a few weeks, more or less depending on how fast your nails grow.

Good luck!

Oh snap

Cool sub! I only know Outkast's Hey Ya out of the songs you've analyzed but I thought the analysis was really interesting.

Then he hit me with a surprise left

See that was my favorite line in the book, and almost everything else wasn't!

Haha, thanks - here's hoping!

Uttar fucking Pradesh. I swear to god you guys need to get your shit together.

What do you mean by 'agnostic Christian' - that would seem to be an oxymoron?

You need to start harvesting soon you jabroni

I just knew this would be Husk Musk!

It's just disgusting how there's no low too low for him. What a disgrace he is.

Yep - back in the day the LiveJournal childfree comm had a similar list which was really helpful!

Ack I seem to have grown a penis too?! I'm a fraud!

Oh man it was a nightmare finding someone who would sterilize me. I was 24 when I started seriously looking, and I can't tell you how many doctors told me I'd change my mind about not wanting kids (insert huuuge eyeroll here), and one doctor even said that he thought my boyfriend was forcing me into it and that I didn't understand how permanent it was. Thankfully I did finally find someone to take me seriously but man, what a pain in the ass!

Which medicine cabinet did you get?

Yup this is why I got my tubes tied. Too much anxiety just relying on the pill!

Yeah...that's the reason....

Not much of a girlfriend, we never seem to get along

En anglais c'est connu comme l'interrobang... moi je préfère le point exclarrogatif!

Springfield Twp is largely progressive, I hadn't even noticed that our police had added the thin blue line to their logo. This doesn't represent the majority of people here, just the cops, whose biggest on-the-job risk is that someone might get in line ahead of them at Wawa.

Wait hang on I've been using "za" for ages, was this not legal until now?

Could we have kippers for breakfast, Mummy dear, Mummy dear?

Gowron

Blue jays are my faaavorite (next to my crowbros of course) 💙🖤

Yep it's insane. Healthcare shouldn't be a for-profit business FFS.

Goddammit this meme will not die

Same here. I'm pretty introverted but definitely don't think I'm autistic.