Relationship Advice SubArcticTundra • 2 weeks ago • 83%

I grew up in (foreign) country A but then moved back to my home country (B) with my parents. I plan to move back to country A eventually because I feel 100% at home in the culture there, but am just a bit unsure about the timing. The problem is that I'd like to get into dating (I'm 21) and country A has a really low amount of people of my type, whereas the country I'm originally from (B) has plenty (but I only feel 70-80% at home here). So I'm thinking I might postpone my move back to country A where this won't really be possible until in a couple of years when I'm more happy to settle down. I wanted to ask you older folks if you think this is a wise idea.

Autism SubArcticTundra • 2 weeks ago • 100%

I have Special Interests (pixel-perfect UIs, the overall 'feel' of software, old computers, obsolete media like floppies, useless machines, etc.) that my brain finds extremely stimulating and rewarding and I'm able to devote hours to creating things that scratch these itches. Unfortunately neither the job market, nor anyone else actually, sees beauty there where I see it and so they will not value it (that includes financially). Meanwhile, there are other things like machine learning or cell biology that my brain is also very well equipped for but I don't spend time learning them because they don't draw me to them the way my SIs do (I have ADHD so the stimulation level of activities is quite decisive). This is a handicap because it leaves me fixated on several irrelevant things which I did not choose. How do you guys deal with this?

Adulting SubArcticTundra • 3 weeks ago • 100%

I'm a student looking for a part time job to make some money. Since I'm a native speaker of two languages, I thought translating might be nice since it fills quite a unique niche where 1) the job can be done wholly on a computer, ie. remotely, giving me freedom, but 2) the job is not technical in nature, but rather very intuition-heavy, giving the logical part of my brain time to rest after studying for my engineering degree. Translating really does feel like doing art in comparison to eg. programming, and I find it genuinely relaxing. The problem is that translators are increasingly being replaced by AI and this will continue in the future, meaning it will be hard for me to get a job in this field. So I wanted to ask you if you can think of any other jobs I could try that fill this niche – remote but intuitive. Any ideas?

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 4 weeks ago • 100%

When I take Ritalin, I need to take an initial dose of 15-20mg for it to be effective (and then taper it down every 50 minutes otherwise I get jittery). But when I was on Concerta, 18mg was not enough, even though it is roughly the same dosage. Is the Concerta dosage not comparable to that of the Ritalin as it is spread out over a longer period? I know 30mg of Ritalin would be way too much for me – but does that necessarily mean that 36mg of Concerta would too?

(For the sake of intuition, 1/√0=0)

Showerthoughts SubArcticTundra • 1 month ago • 92%

Edit: eg. the Apple ads

Europe SubArcticTundra • 1 month ago • 92%

This is brilliant. It saves you from having to channel suggestions through MEPs. If a suggestion gets enough signatures they have to consider it.

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 1 month ago • 100%

Any ideas? I'm 21 so not too many bills to pay. I just need something that will give me the financial freedom to move around and hopefully some time left over.

Europe SubArcticTundra • 2 months ago • 92%

I spent a long time in the UK and currently live in Czechia. In the UK if you stood in a group conversation and weren't saying anything, people tried to involve you and asked you questions. In Czechia, unless you said something, you would be ignored*. I know this is kind of an odd thing to consider but I've determined it's the one thing that decides if I'm able to find actual close friends in a society. Because I've spent several years here (am Czech) and although I've made acquaintances I've never met anyone who was more interested to get to know me than I was to get to know them. This has left me feeling lonely. So in order to know where else I'd fit in, I'd be curious to know how this hypothetical situation would play out in your country. I know the dividing line must be somewhere between UK and CZ but don't know where. When I visited Eastern Germany and spoke German it was only marginally better than Czechia. *So when trying to make conversation, all the effort had to come from your side (which gets tiring). In the UK you could feel that the other person was trying to help carry the conversation too. And actually, I've found this happens when non native speakers switch to English too (eg. when Erasmus people came)

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 2 months ago • 98%

I either have an exciting plan, or when that fails, no plan (I resign). Since the exciting plans usually fail, I end up living on autopilot. I really struggle _making things in life move_. There's too many simultaneous Big Tasks* whose logistics I need to keep track of that I can’t hold them all in my head at once (I can only focus on one Big Task at once). Especially when most tasks are timelines where you need to wait for responses, compose emails, search for things (there might be none – what then?) etc. and where you need to think about the order of the tasks in the timeline so that you save time. Not to forget remembering to notice if people haven’t replied to your e-mail and having to either remind them or come up with a Plan B (this usually leaves you stumped because you now can't get the thing you started the whole journey for). There's so many steps to keep track of and you can't even write them down because the amount of steps keeps changing. *Finding the next place to rent, booking a dentist for my hurting tooth, planning journeys (what is the Plan B if the journey is too expensive?) The cluelessness and dread of having to come up with a Plan B is why I hate searching for things. Having to come up with a Plan B is so disorienting. And it's the opposite of stimulating: you've put in a ton of effort and gotten nowhere. How do you all deal with it?

UK Politics SubArcticTundra • 2 months ago • 100%

I imagine some of these agencies didn't exist before 2010, meaning they got staffed under the Tories. I know viewing the Tories as purely bad is a very simplistic way of looking at things, but when Boris was partying in Downing street and clearly resigning on his duties to protect the public, how come this level of resignation didn't seep into these govt. agencies? From the articles below it seems that even after 14 years fhey still have teeth. Are they independent enough to escape influence from the Cabinet? https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/apr/20/the-big-tech-firms-want-an-ai-monopoly-but-the-uk-watchdog-can-bring-them-to-heel https://www.wiltsglosstandard.co.uk/news/national/24470785.data-watchdog-reprimands-school-facial-recognition-canteen-payments/

Solarpunk SubArcticTundra • 2 months ago • 96%

From the book [Plurality](https://www.plurality.net/chapters/) chapter 2-2

UK Politics SubArcticTundra • 3 months ago • 100%

I'm just thinking about ways that PR could be passed. If Labour get a massive majority, and the party (ie. MPs) want PR but the government does not, would having a ton of MPs beyond a majority make it easier to pass as a private member's bill in defiance of the government, as even a substantial amount of Labour MPs sticking with the govt would not bring aye votes below the 50% mark? (Plus if the newly strengthened Lib Dems voted in favour)

Mental Health SubArcticTundra • 3 months ago • 95%

I've been having quite a stressful period of exams recently and at one point I started feeling a mixture of burnt out and depressed. I immediately stopped preparing for the exams, and to ease the thought that I would need to manage 2 more years of this (this is what triggered the depression), I started making plans to switch to an easier degree. Usually when I feel depressed I know exactly why (my mind tunnel visions on the big picture problem and blocks out the present), and once I address the cause I begin to feel hopeful again. But this time, although doing these things eased the immediate feeling of burnout, I have carried on feeling depressed. I am usually a humorous person so I tried to watch my favourite comedy to rekindle my playfulness but I felt completely numb to the jokes and nuance in it that I usually appreciate. Same when I tried to socialize. I've removed the cause so I don't understand why I'm still depressed and what else I need to do to make my mind operate normally again. Could it be from other unadressed things in my life that have been in the background? Does anyone have any ideas?

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 3 months ago • 95%

My psych wants to take me off Strattera because it isn't helping my ADHD and apparently it's quite expensive. One thing it _is_ helping me with though is my anxiety – I no longer get the random bouts of anxiety that I used to and I feel like I'm just generally more chill and enjoying the present moment. What's more, I can actively feel the Strattera keeping me calm at times when my brain would have panicked before, like when approaching girls. Do you know if other anti-anxiety meds my psych is likely to give me will have this same effect, or should I urge him to keep me on Strattera?

Asklemmy SubArcticTundra • 3 months ago • 96%

I've realized that I check the news several times a day but not because I'm curious about what's happening on the grand scheme of things, but because my brain wants to check something that keeps changing with new, evolving information. It fills a slightly different niche than social media, and I don't watch sports so I don't have that to check. Can anyone think of something else that could fill this need? I could read blogs but they just don't feel *current*. And the news is making be stress about information I didn't need to know.

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 3 months ago • 80%

My main problems: * Inability to stick to lowly stimulating tasks * Executive dysfunction * Forgetting what I was doing every 2 minutes Bonus mention: random bouts of anxiety (Don't know which subtype this amounts to) Meds I've tried so far: 1. Atomoxetine (extinguished the anxiety but did nothing for the ADHD) 2. Methylphenidate (amplified the ED, essentially gluing me to even boring tasks. This helped for reading but not for my executively intensive physics homework, where I literally had to use my inner voice to guide myself. Did nothing for the forgetfulness.) Has anyone had a similar response? What ended up working? I'm in the UK so there's no Aderall.

AuDHD SubArcticTundra • 3 months ago • 90%

My train of thought has gone down the same path hundreds of times when bored. There is no new realisation about that topic that remains to be had. And yet every time my inner monologue goes down the same well trodden path. It almost hurts at this point. I don't really choose the topic, it's usually just one I've come into contact with repeatedly and they change over the years. I commute by bus and the monologue is always at the same point at the same point in the journey. I am going crazy. How do I turn this off.

Ask Lemmy SubArcticTundra • 4 months ago • 92%

Lemmy, I have completed tens of modules across several different universities. I have been course-hopping for long enough that I’d have a bachelors degree by now had I found and stayed on a course that suited me. I *can’t be asked* to commit to one and study it for *yet another* 3 years before I get a degree\*. Yet I feel like all of the effort that I have expended up to this point will go unacknowledged, just because it was spread across several unis and doesn’t fall into any of their pre-defined study plans. I am a person driven by short bouts of intense curiosity of the type that dives down Wikipedia rabbitholes\*\*. I want to do a highly qualified job but am failing to fit in to the rigid framework that academia sets you. I have several Master’s theses that I’d start researching *tomorrow* if the system let me. Yet without so much as a bachelor’s I might as well go work in a supermarket. How do I move on from here? \*Perhaps it’s also because I’m now in my early 20s and finally want to have some time to explore. \*\*I am a logical thinker and _predominantly_ interested in STEM topics.

Ask Lemmy SubArcticTundra • 4 months ago • 98%

Edit: while I'm at it, does anyone know what I should do when I'm waiting for a coincidence/adventure to happen, but it never comes? I can't really go outside and arrange for it to happen because I don't know what I'm looking for.

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 4 months ago • 98%

Often when I start feeling guilty for putting off a task (even if I genuinely didn't have time), the guilt makes it harder for me to get back to it. It's an additional emotion that I have to barge through in order to get started. What if the person is annoyed with me for still not having replied? What if they've followed up with a strongly worded email that I'm now going to have to suffer through? _And_ I'm going to have to come up with an excuse for taking so long. This would have been so much easier if I'd done it yesterday. The guilt increases exponentially. How do you dispel it so that it's not in the way of actually _getting to_ the task? (Alcohol and sleep deprivation does not count)

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 5 months ago • 88%

For me showering means standing in a windowless room staring at a blank wall for 20 minutes (I get lost in my thoughts). Also there are several steps and I have to think about each of them. This means that I only end up showering when my fear of coming across as dirty becomes bigger than the dread of being bored. What do you do?

Android SubArcticTundra • 5 months ago • 100%

This has started showing up for some reason, suggesting that instead of updating my apps in the background, Google Play is waiting until I open an app to check for updates. Is there like a setting somewhere I need to change?

Ask Science SubArcticTundra • 5 months ago • 100%

I'm thinking of switching fields within STEM and there are some mathsy modules which I missed out on during my undergrad (biology) that would come in really handy right now. Since I would like to avoid doing another bachelor's from scratch, I was hoping there might be a website that lets you pick and choose from a range of undergrad-level subjects that you would take online, and then possibly give you a certificate that you could put on your CV. Does anyone know if something like this exists?

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 5 months ago • 100%

I've found that breaking a daunting task down into concrete steps and eating away at it in baby steps helps me get it done. When I take Concerta, it helps me focus on the boring nitty-gritty bits, and it enables me to focus on activities like reading where you don't have to do any planning. But the actual process planning/task breakup stays just as cognitively straining as before and becomes the new bottleneck to my productivity. Can this also be fixed with a pill, or does everyone have it this hard and is it a skill that you get better at over time?

AuDHD SubArcticTundra • 5 months ago • 93%

I can't work on maths problems: by the time I key a calculation into my calculator I've forgotten what I was actually calculating. When I open my phone to write an email, by the time I have the 'new email' screen open I've forgotten what I wanted to write and to whom. When I go off looking for something in another room, I forget what I was looking for by the time I've entered it. I constantly mutter 'What was I doing? What was I doing?' This is so debilitating -- I can't live like this. What can I do?

Asklemmy SubArcticTundra • 6 months ago • 95%

21M, my life right now is such a mess. My childhood feels deficient in some things, I really want to move out, my life is spread over multiple countries and I can't decide how to fit each into my future, I'm struggling & demotivated at university, and I've had no success dating and just can't figure out why. I have a long term plan to get myself out of this but I'm afraid that the plan may prioritize the wrong things or be naively ambitious or specific. I'm AuDHD and seeing as it was _my_ thinking that got me into this mess, my plan to fix it is probably riddled with the same mistakes. Which would mean I'd stay stuck where I am. What would really help me is to consult my plan with a wise person who has watched many people's life trajectories and who would be able to advise me on what parts of my plan are naive or likely to fail. Since I am AuDHD, I also need someone who will alert me to the sorts of narrow-minded ways of thinking that got me to where I am, because I am obviously blind to these. Or maybe the problem is that I think too much altogether. I can ask for individual pieces of advice on Lemmy but I'm looking for someone who would look at my life **in a more holistic way**. **What sort of person would be able to help me?** I have tried coaching but coaches seem to focus more on CBT and have lacked the wisdom that I am looking for here.

Relationship Advice SubArcticTundra • 6 months ago • 100%

My best bet has been to meet people at workshops: - Class of 30 new people each time - Assertive, inquisitive people (my kind of person) spontaneously filter themselves out because they're the ones asking questions - Opportunity to approach them at break times, can work in small groups - Laid back School canteen. You are forced to spend an amount of time sitting next to a bunch of random strangers, some will be friendship groups. You can tell if they are cool just by listening in on their conversation, and it removes any barrier that approaching them would usually be as you are already sitting next to them. Best come when the canteen is full because then there won't be any empty tables that you'd need an excuse for not sitting at. I think when you frequent these two activities you are almost guaranteed to bump into your kind of person eventually. Can anyone think of any other good scenarios?

Politics SubArcticTundra • 6 months ago • 100%

Between 0:47 - 0:56 https://youtu.be/vhwljByMFas?t=46 He goes from the reporter forcing him a loaded question to the reporter giving him free air time. I feel there is a change in the power dynamic but I cannot work out what exactly plays off here. But I think what he does is usually used as a haggling tactic. I wonder where he learnt how to do this.

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 6 months ago • 100%

I've long had problems with random, unfounded bouts of anxiety. I've been taking Strattera and it has partially helped with this: when it works (which is 80% of the time), I can feel it keeping me in a mellow headspace at moments when I would have previously had racing thoughts and mental tunnel vision. Specifically, the source of the anxiety is still there, because I can feel it spark into action and put adrenaline into my blood, but the Strattera seems to be blocking it from affecting my mind in any way. While this is a significant improvement, it's still not perfect because the adrenaline in my blood still tires my body out quite quickly. Recently I went a whole day on 2 hours of sleep, and I realized the sleep deprivation stopped my anxiety more optimally than the Strattera. My brain was too sleep deprived for the unfounded anxiety/fight or flight to even be initiated, which meant there was no adrenaline to block from affecting my mind in the first place. What's more, my mind was just generally more chilled out and slowed down (no hyperactivity or hyperfocus or anything), kinda a bit like if I was stoned, and I felt far less inhibition to spontaneously blurt out thoughts that appeared in my head without thinking about them, which I actually quite enjoyed because it meant I was being my peak authentic self. Whilst the Strattera helped stop the immediate effects of my anxiety, the sleep deprivation got me into the actual overall target state that I want to be in. Now I obviously can't go about being sleep deprived every day from now on. **Does somebody understand the chemistry of what Strattera does vs. what the sleep deprivation does? Is there any medication that could create the same desirable effects as the sleep deprivation?**

ADHD SubArcticTundra • 6 months ago • 96%

Hey guys, I've been taking Atomoxetine for 5 months and I'm thinking of trying a different med because it isn't stopping the ADHD for me. I've been thinking it would probably be best to come off Strattera before I try the new med, firstly so I can be sure that whatever happens is caused purely by the new med, and secondly so that I can see what changes the Strattera actually caused. How long did it take you guys to come off it (how quickly did you lower the dose)? If I wanted to start taking it again, would I have to wait _another_ 6 weeks for it to work, like I did the first time?