I make things in my spare time so I don’t tell people to go to hell during my work time. These things are not quite the same.

I didn’t realize Siri and the cats were conspiring. Yesterday I went into the living room to investigate a ruckus and found one of my cats sitting on the couch while the home pod in the window sill was playing Mumford and Sons.

I offset the gains from my one cup of coffee by chasing it with a sugar free Monster. Balance.

That, uh, was definitely a hard ‘r’ there. Jesus Christ.

I suspect this is similar to how someone is going to find my carcass.

Well. The administration would be consistently brain wormy I guess.

It’s captivating, really. I can’t stop looking at it.

It’s a lot like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.

I regret to inform them that that’s not how that works.

Yeah, I’m keeping that.

Looks like that one in the background is next.

He always looks so confused in his photos.

Pardon the fuck?

Bone Spurs McShart can only buy one of those medals like his buddies the Adelsons did so of course he thinks it’s better.

Well sure. This is the one you can buy with $133 million in contributions. Of course he thinks it’s better.

It’s just sunk cost fallacy all the way down.

Combat on Atari 2600.

lol fair. My Subaru and I just migrated from Colorado to the east coast. Your description made me miss home.

Came to ask if it had gone to plaid yet.

Colorado?

Secretary of Trichinella has a nice ring to it.

Several years ago at my kids’ pediatrician’s office they hired a new doc. As soon as she started advocating raw milk I knew that was the last time we’d be visiting that office.

My nana used to have a collection of spoons in holders like this in her dining room. Thanks for the double hit of nostalgia and serotonin.

Goddamn, I love that speech every time I hear or read it.

Edit: unsaladed the thing.

The photo is kinda creeping me out in ways that I don’t have words for. Did someone leave the Necronomicon open again?

You know, maybe I’m getting old but I remember a time when the Republican Party wasn’t running on a platform that consists of nothing but batshit crazy. I’ve never been a Republican but there was some semblance of sanity there and not this soup sandwich of bathrooms and genitals. Jfc.

Well this should be an interesting circle jerk of what the fuck.

I wonder if the meth cook-off is a separate event.

Florida Man (of god) you say? I am intrigued. I wonder what their potluck looks like.

Norsk.

Dishonorable, you say?

That’s how I want to be remembered.

Yeah the reason I deem the apartment ‘shitty’ is mostly the way it’s laid out and lack of storage. For example, the kitchen has exactly one drawer. One. Which is too narrow to put a tray in to hold flatware so the cooking paraphernalia is in there and my flatware is in a tray sitting on the counter. The use of space in here is really weird. Still, that’s a good amount of money for a small space.

661 sq ft is smaller than my shitty apartment.

You can just say cult. Like the Jonestown, Waco etc. kind. It’s ok, we’re all terrifyingly aware.

Talk to me Goose.

If chosen for Vice President I vow to go out and rob a liquor store on Day 1.

Well that’s certainly a bucket full of what in the fuck.

A friend of mine got the shit end of a “restructuring” at work the other day and immediately started applying for unemployment. Florida hasn’t increased that benefit in almost a decade (probably longer) so he’ll be getting the same paltry $275/wk that I got many many years ago when I was on unemployment for a bit. I hope he finds a new job soon because there’s absolutely no way to live on that.

That poor guy’s prison wallet must be tapped out by now.