"Yeah, I got a couple of removed on the side"

Finish him!

It still checks out.

Run.

This girl is on fire!

The general is inspecting his troops.

The future of transportation.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

This Magi decided to pawn his gifts instead.

I'd like to negotiate the transfer of your home to me for free, or I start shooting.

More whatabouts are not going to change what I said.

Lol ok, you can call it whatever makes you feel better.

Ukraine did, you know, the country actually being attacked?

Just giving them what they want isn't a thing either.

"whatabout the US" is not an educated point, it's a deflection.

So then you agree with my original statement, what are we even debating?

Why would those countries need to call for anything, it's Ukraine that got invaded, not them.

Do you think we could avoid that if Russia just went home?

Wait, you don't want Russia to just take what it wants?

If only the west would just let Russia take what it wants, there would be peace in our time.

"FUCKED! DOUBLE FUCKED! COCK GOBLIN!" oh no... I can't remember if I took my medicine today. Well anyway, today is the day I'm going to leave the house. The world is ready for me and I'm ready "TO GET FUCKED!". Maybe it's time I call my good friend Matilda and see if she wants to go for a stroll. Take in the breeze, enjoy the weather, "GET FUCKED!". Shit.

The phone is ringing. Matilda eventually answers and says...

decided to go rob the gas station down the road. "I need more money to buy myself a new set of clothes and a pendant" he thought to himself while dreaming about his date with Danielle tomorrow. Yes, it's a date - what else could you call it? - and he was going to make sure he looks his best.

Bursting into the gas station, Daniel took out the machete and began to shout: "ALRIGHT YOU MUGS, LISTEN UP! THIS IS A STICK-UP! DON'T ANYBODY MOVE OR IT'S MOM'S SPAGHETTI!"

The two men behind the counter looked at each other bewildered.

Daniel: "YOU THERE, WITH THE SHITTY MUSTACHE. GIVE ME ALL THE CASH IN THE REGISTER. PUT IT IN A BAG. HURRY THE FUCK UP I'M LOSING MY COOL"

It's at that moment that...

The delivery man arrived with the capybara. It was a chunky once, my wife was screaming with joy. We took the capybara inside to show it around its new home. At first it hesitated, but then it started checking out its new surroundings, eventually proceeding to take a massive shit on our brand new wooly carpet. It's at that moment that my wife started to...

But what if you're not happy? Not only do you get to stay sad, but you have smarmy assholes like anon here giving you shitty platitudes about how you're failing to be happy despite all these "beautiful reasons" everywhere.

"If your life is shit, then be happy about the shit you got". This lady must work in HR.

In other words:

The best part of my life right now is the bit where I'm not awake to witness it. Today I have to go drop a few hundred dollars on keeping my car running the same way it was yesterday. Then I get to go home and drown my sorrows in front of the computer because nobody else will hang out with me.

At least there's alcohol. It's probably cheap though.

I guess some people don't really have much going for them.

If you think you're the funny one then you're probably the mean one, laughing at other people's expense. Those that laugh with you secretly hate it, but don't want to get on your bad side. I also note that OP makes no mention of either or not there are any friends in her life to actually help. It's a bit like saying you always stop to feed every needy elephant you see on the street. I too go out of my way to pet the sad giraffes.

Listen, there's nothing to be happy about here.

I mean there are two ends, one's a bit shittier than the other, if you were a leprechaun which one would you choose?

😂

There's a leprechaun hidden behind the curtain.

Wait, we're not going to be negative here just because he has nice things to say about us? I don't discriminate, and what recommends this dude to be the judge of how creative we are? For all we know, OP is just a boring little man that likes to quietly tee-hee at other people's witty quips. Hardly an authority on creativity, pardon me for not bothering to impress.

13 Ideas to Get Your Barbecue Area Summer-Ready

Very accurate.

Dress for the job you want.

A gypsy standoff.

Together through thick and thin.

Winnie and Minnie

"Now push!"