Mid-30s, two kids, ended a 13-year relationship last year. Still going through the divorce process.

I see myself as a speck of dust in the universe. I am not special. The 'machine' will keep running with or without me. My control over events is limited.

It's not all doom and gloom, though. There are two things that I can control to some degree:

• How I choose to react to external events
• How I choose to spend my time

I start the day with a list of things to get done (make bed, clean litter box, dishes, run X miles, play game with kids after school, etc), and I just stick to it. My 'mission' for the day is to complete every single item on the list no matter how I feel. Each task can be part of a longer-term goal, such as learning a new skill or getting fitter.

When I feel down, I ask myself why I'm feeling such a way and I try to pin down the source of distress (usually a memory). Then, I pick an 'easy' item on my list and I get it done. I avoid looking stuff up on the Internet or overthinking. I just get the task done. If I'm still feeling bleak after, I pick another task.

I hope this helps.