I usually just improvise and wing it. It stresses my husband out I think. He likes to plan. 😆

Ah yes! How could i forget about waiting mode. This is super fun times right here. 100% recommend!

Both tech and horses here...uh oh. 😂 alas, to damned expensive for horses and did't get back into tech after i moved to be withvmy husband., decided to randomly pick up horticulture as a career choice instead.

They are in a 20 gallon long right now. Going to be combining my 2 20 gallons into a 55 gal soon. Super excited.

I really like that large piece of wood. Nice scape too.

I really like Bucephalandra. They are kind of slow growing but super hardy and even put out little flowers. And it stays relatively small while still spreading, I started with it on a piece of driftwood and it filled that up and then continued to spread off the log and started rooting into the substrate.

Thanks, I said my good Byes Saturday while she was still conscious enough to respond, she passed Sunday evening at home in her sleep. I didn't want to stress her by taking her to the vet and she didn't seem to be in distress so I let her pass naturally. She had a good long life, trying to just think about that and not get caught up in sadness.

As for classes, I'm taking an intro to horticulture class and an intro to psychology class. This is a trial semester and i'm kind of testing the waters. I have a bad past record with college and am stressing over this but I must defeat my inner demons. Trial by fire I guess. I start next week and am already feeling a bit overwhelmed as I was just reading the class prep notes and am sitting here wondering what did I get myself into? I am just ignoring that particular inner voice right now. I can do this!

I kind of just have issues keeping my attention on either honestly, unless I suddenly get absorbed in the topic which does happen and then I marathon read/listening. I just do what I can when I can. At least listening i can just rewind when I fade off and I can do other stuff while listening where as reading I need to be low enough energy to sit long enough. I do enjoy the tactile feeling of reading a real book and flipping through the pages when I manage it. I apparently have 3 different books going right now and it's taking me forever to read them.

As for how I'm doing this week? I don't know, nervous about the classes I'm starting in a few weeks, trying to get back to where I was at before the holidays, some mistakes where made but I am forgiving myself and moving on from it. My cat is not doing well (she is very old) and I might have to say goodbye soon, I'm having emotions that I haven't sorted about the entirety of last year and trying to figure out where to go from here with the new year. All in all though I am okay and just taking it one day at a time.

This is so very sad and hurts my heart. And seeing as we are being serious here I will add that I was very close to being part of this statistic about a year ago. For so many of us it was not caught when we where kids and it is no surprise to me to see these kinds of numbers. And those are just a couple statistics, we also have more accidents, more unwanted/unplanned pregnancies, more chance of substance abuse, more other health issues do to poor choices and not looking after our needs, reduced life expectancy from these choices, the list goes on. I think it was Russell Barkley that talks of this.

I try really hard to make earlier in the day appointments now because of this. Of course once the appointment or whatever it is is done I still don't do anything else with the day because you know what? All that waiting was exhausting and now I'm spent.

Ooph, I feel this, I almost just got in an argument with my husband again about money spent...I'm going to go hide my credit card from myself now.

It's like Christmas all year round! I see nothing wrong with this! 😃

Thanks for sharing this. I didn't have a name for this feeling until I was diagnosed with ADHD and started learning more about it and all that comes along with it. Though I would not wish this on anyone else it is good to know sometimes that we are not the only ones going through these struggles.

My week has been okay. Work has been a bit chaotic running around trying to fix problems. At least it wasn't me that caused them this time and I was able to get brownie points for helping deal with it. My whole schedule was turned upside down and had to work a full week but I could use the extra money so I guess that is a win. I also found my security badge I lost last week for one of my accounts, so that was a relief.

I guess I'm just happy to have come out of this work week seemingly in a good place and that is a reason to celebrate. I've managed to take some steps towards figuring out passport and school related stuff too so it's been a good week mostly. We'll aside from the initial panic of not being able to find my badge. Literally saw it this morning randomly hiding in a box on top my dresser wedged in a corner. Not sure how it got there. I blame magic house elves. Anyways, it worked out as I needed it today so yay.

I feel called out by this statement. At least something is getting done though.

I most definatly notice a worsening of symptoms during the luteal phase. As well over the past couple years I'd say my symptoms have gotten significantly worse overall due to incoming peri which actually ended up getting me diagnosed as I just couldn't cope anymore. At least now I know why i have had the issues I've had over the years but now I'm super not excited about the hormonal roller coaster i am on. The Peri is still pretty mild so I just started back on birth control again to stabilize hormones so that's helping but instill have my bad days. And though I am glad I have the meds now and they work well usually, the hormonal chaos does make them less effective which is frusterating on those days.

Happy to hear the meds are helping though the emotion affect does not sound cool. Hope I didn't misunderstand. I feel you on the task overwhelm. The meds definitely helped me be more productive and to use the actual strategies I've been trying to learn to deal with it, but it's slow going. They help but they are not a magic fix all. I have come to the acceptance that it's going to take me a long time to get "caught up" if that's even possible and am learning to be okay with that. Years of not dealing with stuff can't just be completed overnight. Be kind to yourself and take it day by day, one step at a time. You got this.

It will be interesting to see how much/little has changed since I've been back. I grew up in a small town so definitely a different lifestyle to where I live now. I'm sorry to hear you haven't been able to travel back to your birth country. My sister in law(who I haven't met yet) is from Russia too. Hopefully some day you both will be able to go back and visit. I'm just thankful the only thing holding me back from visiting my home country is my own procrastination and avoidance of dealing with things. That and money.

I am hoping to travel back home(well my old home rather) to Canada to visit my family. Haven't been back since I moved away 12 years ago. I have time to do the passport though, I am waiting for summer when its warmer.

Last week was pretty good, only worked 3 days because of Thanksgiving. Ended up having dinner with my inlaws and then going to my best friends later that day. All in all I can't complain. It was nice having 4 days off, i managed to have a productive day of yard work yesterday, wanted to finish it today but that was not in the cards. not sure what my issue today is, spent most of the day in bed not feeling well, hopefully I feel better tomorrow as I have a full week at work next week.

I am also a bit frustersted at myself right now because I need to find a second reference for my passport application. I have not been great at keeping friends/acquaintances so I'm trying to figure that out so I can finally get my passport situated. Not really sure what to do so I've been avoiding it.

So yeah, my week wasn't too bad, aside from me feeling under the weather today and the passport issues and also trying to figure out how I'm going to balance school and work come January. But I will get it sorted. At least I'm finally trying to get my crap together. It's been one hell of a year but I am coming out the other side better off than when I went into it last january.

I just don't even bother with the Christmas lights. Though i do feel rather called out on the melted pumpkin. I should probably throw that in the compost.

That is so demeaning! Fragile? Like what? If you have adhd it can make every day things stressful and difficult and dont evem gdt me atarted on self image. I would definitely get a second opinion. Could be you have it, could be you don't but at least find someone that has more to offer for an explanation than that. It's exhausting and nerve-wracking for sure but don't give up.

That is so frustrating. I'm glad your wife finally got help but that must have been stressful for her. Also a 5 minute assessment is just silly, for anyone it should be longer. Funny how they so easily diagnosis it for men without question. Not trying to discount your diagnosis but just wanted to state the hypocrisy between the two evaluations (yours and your wifes).

Thanks for posting this. Definatly resonates. Makes me sad to think of how many women have lived most of their lives struggling more than they should be because it was thought it just wasn't a thing women had. Barely anybody does studies or research on women,we are just to complicated with our hormones they say. But that is unacceptable. It's getting better slowly, but we still have a long way to go.

I wasnt diagnosed until this year at 44. It had come up as a suspicion when I was doing a search a few years prior to why I was having certain issues but I didn't take it serious. Like many I didn't understand what adhd actually was, just thought it was the stereotypical view most people have. Then a therapist I was seeing for depression this year suggested I get tested. It wasn't easy, first try was very dismissive and rude, I almost just gave up then, the second time went much better, they actually let me talk and got a proper history from me. I am finally getting help for all my problems, adhd included.

I just want to encourage any women out there that are struggling and think maybe this might be a possibility to at least try to get tested. Don't suffer in silence. We need to speak up louder when the world won't listen. I wish you all the best in your journey wherever you are on this path.

I would like to thank you for reminding me that many people have it much worse than I do. It is very true. I did not want to bring up such hardships in this thread. I apologize for my lighthearted attempt at a comment and if it offended you in any way I am sorry. I hope everything is okay for you.

I spent half the day lost in my phone. 🙄 but I did manage to get the dishes done, a load of laundry and I somehow after that found the motivation to clear out one of the many doom piles in my living room. Just took me forever to get going. Made up for yesterday uselessness I guess.

For food decisions I tell my husband to assign a number to the choices and I just randomly pick a number. I also will use my d&d dice to make choices. Reduces my choice meltdowns considerably. 😊

This is me anytime my husband asks me what I want to do or what I want to eat. Then I get upset when he gives me choices because then he wants me to choose. We have a system in place for the food thing now but some days it is a struggle. I'm sitting here right now trying to figure out what I want to do on this dreary cloudy rainy day. I am not feeling it today either.

I am not one to post much and mostly just lurk sadly. I get a bit stressed out over making comments and posts. I'm just posting right now to say hello and provide my support to this post. I think the ideas people have mentioned are great. Maybe we could start some discussion posts on different topics (adhd related or not, could be women's stuff or anything really) so people can share their experiences.

If I'm not really into what I'm reading the words are just words and I dont really absorb what is being said, if I am interested in what I'm reading however its the opposite and I don't even see words, just knowledge or if its a story I disappear into another world. It's one or the other and I can't force it. I think I must hit some kind of hyperfocus mode when I am able because usually when this happens it's hard to pull myself out of what I'm reading. I need to figure out how to turn that mode on manually. 😆

Not in tech anymore but I definitely do this with my jobs. It really sucks because I could be doing so much more but I just can't be bothered to care after the I got a new job and this is interesting phase. But at least I have these random bits of information that I can pretend to be smart with thst come up at the most inopportune times. 🤣 I feel you on the imposter syndrome.

At 22 you still have most of your life to live. Be glad you found out now and not at 44. Diagnosed this summer and it's good to know, but at the same time all those years of flailing kind of make me sad. All I can do though is move on from here and I hope you can do the same.

Yep, never was able to understand what I should be studying for exams. Always was learning the wrong things and then would be like where did that question come from? Then id try to just make stuff up to answer.

Got to college and it was even worse. They threw stuff on there from lectures that was not in the text book and of course I wasn't paying attention or wasn't even there. 🙄

of course the classes I was fascinated with I didn't have trouble because I could almost recite the material after fixating on it. Wish I could have done that for all my classes. Maybe I'd have a degree right now. would have been nice to know about ADHD back then. Oh well. Such is life.

I don't do a lot of commenting but I just wanted to say thank you for putting your foot down on this. It is incredibly disheartening to keep hearing stuff like that. It discourages people from sharing and learning. It dismisses people's lived experiences and troubles.

Personally I started to have suspicions about a year ago and it wasn't due to these memes. It was due to real struggles I am having. I hit rock bottom and just got fed up with my crap amd was finally done running from my problems. I never self disgnosed but i atumbled upon an rlarticle o. Adhd when i was trying tonfogute out why inwas so much fail and it resonated so i started reading and then found these communities which I did relate too way to much. And now as of about a month ago I have a diagnosis. The memes did help encourage me to seek help but they where not the sole reason.

Anyways, if someone relates and it encourages them to seek help I see that as a win even if it turns out they don't have adhd. And even though many people frown on it "self diagnosis" is a first step for many in seeking an official diagnosis. I really don't understand this mentality of people dismissing ADHD or gatekeeping it. It's not like people just want to have ADHD. People are here because they either have it, a loved one has it or they may have suspicions.

I just felt like I wanted to say something because this stuff has really been bothering me. Thabk you for trying to keep this a safe space for us all. Much respect.

Welcome to the club! I got mine a bit over two weeks ago. Even though I suspected it's been a strange time since for me trying to accept this as real. As you said though, knowing is a relief and now we have an idea on what is going on and what to do about it. I wish you luck in your healing. Take it one step at a time, and take care of yourself. It is going to be a journey but you can do it.

I call them my coffee naps. 3 cups and then i go pass out for two hours. And I just got diagnosed with ADHD this week. Wasn't aware of the relationship between the two.

I feel this in my soul. I have all these hobbies I want to do, and I keep finding more and I keep buying stuff for said hobbies but barely actually manage to do any of them. Same reason I have never been able to decide on a career...to many things I want to do. I genuinely want to do these things, I have officially overwhelmed myself I think. So instead I sit here and waste time on my phone.

Yes! Omg...people ask me what they think is a simple question about said hobby completely unaware of the absolute storm that is about to be unleashed upon them. For example, someone asks me a simple how do you keep this plant alive....well you now are going to learn where it is native too, what the climate is like, it's life cycle and blooming characteristics, its evolution and taxonomy, pollinators and oh don't forget about the diseases and pests it gets and oh! Let's talk about soil chemistry....and mushrooms! Fungus are fascinating and network with plants...anyways, you get the idea. And suddenly they are trying to exit the conversation, and im like wait nooo, i have more. 😆

my friend has seen me do this to so many people and she just sits there with an amused look when she knows it's about to happen. So glad someone gets entertainment out of it.

Pretty much what you said except I joined lemmy the day of the blackouts. I gave up most of the other social media sites years ago but reddit was hard for me to quit until the protest. Now I am here and have a few groups on discord. My social media time has gone way down, I'm just finding other things to waste my time on now.